Here at Zelebz we like to be at the forefront of new technology and we strive to make the world a better place, if only for myself. This week we've been brainstorming a series of Google Glass apps for our developers to work on. I'd be interested in your feedback on these innovations.
What do you think?
The Ivy App
Most people, once they've paid the vast sum for a pair of clunky-looking specs, won't have enough money left to eat properly. The Ivy App cunningly sneaks around this problem. You can now sit at your dinner table eating bits of old newspaper while The Ivy App projects images of roast swan or devilled venison in a sea kale jus on to your retina, thereby creating the ultimate dining experience. Then, three days later, after the severe constipation, you can look into the toilet bowl and your papery turds will appear to be little fishes waving at you and singing something by Avril Lavigne.The Comedy Ebola App
This is great. As you walk around town in your swish goggles, everyone you see will appear to be suffering from advanced ebola, with profuse spurts of blood leaking from every orifice. You will then be able to play the part of the Post-Apocalyptic Emergency Response team, speak the keyword “Terminate” and explode into a fireball whomever your eyes are locked upon. (Google Glass Sniper attachment also required.)The PaedoVision App
You have to feel sorry for paedophiles, don't you? They can't help feeling that way. I mean, not that she does it for me but my PA, Snowdonia, is pretty hot and she's only 5. Does that make me a paedophile? Anyway, in order to cater for the burgeoning pederast market, PaedoVision makes everyone appear to be between the ages of 3 and 15. So now you can lie in bed with your crusty 28-year-old wife and easily reach orgasm without fretting that your number is on Rolf Harris's mobile.What do you think?
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